Homeless

I did something Sunday that is bothering me. I'd taken my kids on a train trip to Chicago to attend a birthday party. My parents picked us up at the station. On the way to my sister-in-law's, I spotted a Starbucks. Having no Starbucks in my home area and having a huge penchant for mocha frappacino's, we of course, had to make a Starbuck's stop. Sitting at the bistro set in front of the store, was a homeless man. Dirty and unkempt, with worn out layered clothes, he sat slumped over sleeping soundly. My dad, daughter and I passed by to go inside. After getting my grande frappacino and slice of banana bread, we went back out to the car where my mom and son waited. I mentioned the homeless guy and mentioned I'd thought to buy him some breakfast but I hadn't, for mainly one reason. Sitting in front of him on the table in an ashtray was a cigarette. I'd figured if he could afford to buy cigarettes, he could afford to buy food. Now I'm thinking that is a pretty crappy reason for not buying him a slice of banana bread. Could it have really hurt anything that terribly bad?

It used to burn me that people would use their food stamps for food and then pull out their cash to pay for their cigarettes while their children look on. In truth, to some degree, it still does. I understand all the difficulties with quitting smoking.

Maybe that's why I didn't buy him some food because of the cigarette. That irritation with parents for buying cigarettes instead of a book for their child. A judgment to be sure. And judgments are something I try to avoid.

I should have bought the man some food. He wasn't asking for anything. But I knew he had a need. And was something I easily could have done. Besides, if I'd gotten him something, he wouldn't have to ask now would he? Oh I know there are all kinds of reasons not to help people out like that. Valid reasons too, I know, I've had a drug addict in the family so am acquainted with lots of different scenarios where helping isn't helping. I'm also vaguely familiar with the concept of professional beggars. But without knowing a person's particulars, and even sometimes knowing the particulars, there is something in my heart that tells me what is right, for me, to do. And knowing I gave a lame excuse for not helping someone in need really bothers me.