The Nose Knows

Ahhh. Nothing like family trials. We're having some difficulties with my nephew - the one who is supposed to be in recovery from Meth addiction. Well, he is living with my parents for a while to get back on his feet. We agreed after he left treatment and couldn't make it on his own elsewhere, that he could live there for a while provided he agree to a whole list of rules. The rules all centered around him staying clean and focusing on treatment. Well, my parents (who were in denial about his drug use almost until we had him standing at the treatment center doors) didn't hold to the rules and they've all been tossed out the window. The rules that is. :<)

Anyway, god love 'em, mom and dad are classic enablers. They just want everything to be Ok and can't understand that you can't treat addicts the same way you would anyone else. Dad just wants my nephew alive and safe and feels comforted by being able to see him everyday and knowing he's not living on the streets. While you may think that's not such a terrible thing, any support you give someone who is using drugs helps support their habit and delays their reaching a point of desperation enough to seek treatment. It's a difficult way of thinking but one that is counseled to families of addicts. *I'm not speaking of recovered/recovering addicts BTW*

To make a super long story only moderately long, my nephew is supposed to be clean. My parents just sat down with him a few days ago and came up with the "revised" rules. One of them, of course, is he has to be clean to live there. We visited today and while most of us were at my sisters, my nephew hadn't arrived yet. My husband was still at my folks cause he was going hunting with someone. He went back inside to go to the bathroom before he left. Well, when he went in the bathroom he noticed the bathroom window was open (it's like 40 some degrees here) and he smelled pot. There's only one person left in the house and that person happens to be an addict. You do the math.

So I pick my husband up after hunting and as we are headed back to where we live, he tells me this. (My husband, though he didn't do drugs, grew up around them, was constantly exposed to them, and knows quite a bit about them. He definitely knows what marijuana smells like) So I call my mom and tell her. Her response? "Well, we asked him (nephew) the other night if he was doing drugs and he said no". My response "Well gee, ya think he mighta been LYING?". We asked when he was using Meth if he was involved in drugs and he said no. Do you really expect him to say yes? Anyway, her and dad asked him if he'd smoked pot in the bathroom and he denied it. (Shocking, yes, I know) So mom and dad decided to do nothing. I'm having a wee bit of difficulty comprehending that. I'm sure their thought is that he denied it and they don't have proof. I KNOW that is what they are telling themselves. Myself, I say my husband smelling it is proof. What else do you need? He's not gonna pull out his pipe right in front of them! I asked my husband if he was sure. He said "I may not know a lot of things but I know pot when I smell it. Yes, I'm sure". My husband really has no desire to be involved in any of this but he said, ya know, our kids play over there, visit, spend the night. That can't happen if there're drugs in the house.

I guess I'll see if more developes tomorrow. All this has about put my dad over the edge as it is. He struggled horribly with my brother's death. Then when my nephew got into drugs, well, it's been almost more than he could handle. He's never, never been one not to face the truth, not to handle a problem head on. But all this has been too much for him. Right now I wouldn't be surprised if he thought the marijuana fairy flew in and smoking that pot in the bathroom. Damn fairies.