"Secret" to Feeling Good

If I could be "known" for something, I think I would want it to be for kindness or generosity. At the same time though, I like not being known for giving. I find great pleasure in giving in secret. There are some things that make me feel really good. I'm sure many women know what I'm talking about, but getting my hair done makes me feel really good. Dressing up and wearing makeup makes me feel really good. Getting my nails done. A petticure. These things make me feel, special somehow. And special feels good.

One time in particular, I remember feeling really bummed. Someone backed out on some plans at the last minute and I was feeling particularly lonely. Second-rate. As I sat in a booth at a restaurant, having my own little pity party, I overheard a foursome at a nearby table "arguing" over who was going to pay the check. On a whim as I checked out at the register, I asked for the tickets for that table, paid the bill, and left. I watched from the window as the waitress addressed the table and explained their bills had been paid. They were all looking at each other a little bewilderedly. It really was a lot of fun. I felt a little covert missiony (my word), something rare in my life. It totally lifted my spirits. I felt like I'd just twirled off the dance floor.

I've found I get a large dose of feeling good doing small things. Letting pedestrians pass in front of me in a busy parking lot. Letting the harried mom with tired, whiney kids go ahead of me in line. Letting people know when they inadvertently cause a hold up that it's Ok, I'll survive it. Entertaining the kid in the adjacent booth so mom can eat her food. Doing things for people who don't know me, who may never see me again just gives me a good feeling. Giving in secret, it's my secret to feeling good.