The Other Mothers
I may have mentioned before about how often my family has kept my niece (my brother's daughter). My brother's wife never really wanted to have kids. For a long time that was Ok with my brother too. Then I think he started to want to have a family but she still didn't. They went that way for a while but then her mom got cancer and it was her mom's greatest wish that they have a child before she died. So I think all this pressured my brother's wife into agreeing to have kids. I think she came around to the idea but it definitely wasn't her idea.
Anyway, after she had my niece, she took a rather small role in raising her. Then my brother got sick and since he died, my niece has spent far more time with my family than with her mother. My sister has pretty much been raising her. It's sad but we're glad that M (niece's mom) is willing to leave her with us rather than with whomever she can find - which is what she did the few weeks she still had her daughter in with her before leaving Texas.
We all love my niece (S) and are careful not to make M mad for fear she would just up and disappear with S. We're glad to have S with us as much as we can. We just want her to be with family and with people who love her.
Here is an exchange that occured between my daughter and S (they're 6 months apart).
While at my mom and dad's house, there was a dead bird in the yard. My daughter says in a sad little voice "Oooh, that bird is dead! It's babies are going to be missing their mommy!". This was my nieces reply "Ah, that's Ok, there are other mommies who can take care of them".
I thought that was a pretty clear insight into both of their lives. My daughter would have had no concept of any other mommies taking care of kids. She's a one mommy girl. For S though, it's pretty much a way of life. Pretty sad for a child who has already lost her daddy to not have a solid mommy too. Perhaps though it's better for her to feel that way so she doesn't fear being left with no one.
Anyway, after she had my niece, she took a rather small role in raising her. Then my brother got sick and since he died, my niece has spent far more time with my family than with her mother. My sister has pretty much been raising her. It's sad but we're glad that M (niece's mom) is willing to leave her with us rather than with whomever she can find - which is what she did the few weeks she still had her daughter in with her before leaving Texas.
We all love my niece (S) and are careful not to make M mad for fear she would just up and disappear with S. We're glad to have S with us as much as we can. We just want her to be with family and with people who love her.
Here is an exchange that occured between my daughter and S (they're 6 months apart).
While at my mom and dad's house, there was a dead bird in the yard. My daughter says in a sad little voice "Oooh, that bird is dead! It's babies are going to be missing their mommy!". This was my nieces reply "Ah, that's Ok, there are other mommies who can take care of them".
I thought that was a pretty clear insight into both of their lives. My daughter would have had no concept of any other mommies taking care of kids. She's a one mommy girl. For S though, it's pretty much a way of life. Pretty sad for a child who has already lost her daddy to not have a solid mommy too. Perhaps though it's better for her to feel that way so she doesn't fear being left with no one.
posted by SonSon at 8:11 PM
2 Comments:
Its good thing that your neice has a stable and larger family.
Often reminds me of the ending voiceover in "Mrs. Doubtfire", about different types of family, children have.
I can totally relate. Our niece came to live with us today actually. Amazing how similiar we all actually are when you get to have a little insight into other people's lives. =)
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