It'll Grow Back

I don't know why I blog about the most ridiculous stuff, but I'm about to do it again. I went out to seek beauty enhancement and was left with the sentiment, " Well, it'll grow back...I guess". No, I didn't get a bad cut, I had my eyebrows waxed (don't say I didn't warn you about the topic). Mayhap some women can sympathise with me and can forgive me for blogging about the asinine.

Now I'm a newbie to the world of waxing. This will be my third time. The first time, the girl was very conservative, which was fine with me. She did a thin underbrow waxing and I had to talk her in to doing between my brow and hairline on the side. The second time, the girl just followed the path lain by the girl before her. All of which was fine by me.

They say the 3rd time's a charm. But I'm thinking curse would be a more appropriate word.

All my life I've been a bushy brow girl. While my peers were plucking away, I lifted one bushy brow at them as though they were demented. I was a Brooke Shields brow girl.

Now? I'm not sure anyone looks like me. I'm not sure anyone would want to. This third girl has a thing for arches. She thinks all brows should create a nice arch or at least an upside down V. First she waxed me. Then she plucked. And she plucked. She apologized for her plucking because she said she was afraid to put on more wax and remove too much. After she plucked some more, she asked me twice if I was sure I didn't want her to do the top of the brow.

I'm somewhat attached to my bushy brows. I think thin brows make you look older. I prefer to go for a look that says "Yes, I know, they're bushy, but see?! they're lined up, formed. The pencil days will come soon enough, thank you.

So I again refused the top brow wax. Plucking completed, she hands me the mirror with the instuctions "Let me know if you see anything". My first look I thought I must have been mistaken. I'd had my eyes closed and maybe they just hadn't refocused. "Nope," I said "I don't see anything". I hand back the mirror and she moves on to do the hairline wax. By this time I'm thinking "Did I just see what I thought I saw"?

The mirror is then handed back to me to see what I think. When I look I'm thinking "My God! What have you done to me?". My brows have the same bushy beginnings, then create a full arc, then end in a pencil thin line. Perhaps in my lack of knowledge, eyebrows are supposed to look like that and I've just received the finest waxing one can receive. But I'm thinking not. In fact, I think I look like Jack Nicholson playing the Joker. Somehow though, the wuss in me translated my "OH MY GOD" to "No, it looks fine, thanks". I pay the fee and leave.

I can only hope they will grow back. I don't know that my waxing days are completely at an end. I do know however, that I got the girls name and next time, I'll call and check if the bushwacker is working or not.

Expensive Me

That "If I Were Rich" blog must have gone to my head. I spent money today as if I had it. Went to Kohls cause I heard they were having 80% off sales. They were and I got my daughter a nice little dress for 6 bucks. Then I saw a neat picnic thing and found some foundation which I've been needing. Unfortunately, I didn't even look at the price of the foundation. I about broke my jaw on the counter after it fell open while checking out.

Then off to Walmart. My daughter loves dresses and wanted to wear her new one so she changed in the van. When I got inside I figured I'd have her picture taken since she was dressed up. I hid her school pictures and didn't pass any out cause they were horrible so I'd been meaning to get her picture taken anyway. Well, I ended up purchasing a package so my cheap 6 dollar dress was rapidly turning into 70. Egads! By the time I then bought groceries my total for the day was turning into a small fortune.

Maybe I should make a list of how I could be more frugal. But I doubt that would have the same effect.

In Memory

This being memorial day weekend, I'm going to blog about my brother.

When I was little, I saw my brother as my hero, my savior. My sister who is 9 years older than me, well, her and I didn't get along. I was still pretty young and my brother used to "save" me from her or try to cheer me up.

Troy was 38 when he died from Pancreatic Cancer. He lived in Murphy Texas, was married, and had a then 2 year old daughter. He was the type of person who drew people to him. When he made a friend, they were a friend for life. He was witty and charming and very intelligent. He was more articulate than anyone I know. There was also some arrogance in him, he was aware of his abilities but to say he was likeable would be an understatement.

He was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and died 11 painful, wrenching weeks later. He'd always been a pillar of health and it was difficult for him to accept what was happening to him. He told me he wanted to die with dignity. It was important to him. Though we could see the pain he was in, he never complained about it, never cried out. He was the last to give up on the ability to do something for himself.

He had wanted to stay in his home in Texas as long as possible, then go to our parents home in Illinois when the end was near. He was to be buried there and had spoken with the funeral home director there. He had specifics of how he wanted to look. He didn't want some frown on his face, or a blank, expressionless face. He wanted a smile. And he was adament about it. He chose his pallbearers, his coffin, the music to be played, and the clothes to be buried in.

He made one trip to Illinois during his 11 weeks for a wedding his daughter had been asked to be in. She was to be a flower girl. He really wasn't feeling well and we worried about what the trip would take out of him. He never considered not coming. The day of the wedding he sat at the end of the aisle. He was feeling bad but wouldn't leave. He told my sister "This will be my only chance to see my little girl walk down the aisle. I won't live to see her do it again". He wasn't able to complete the trip back home without problems. Half way there he had complications and was admitted to ICU. Eventually we got him transferred to ICU in Dallas/Plano. The trip cost him precious days in the hospital. He never fully recovered his strength but he got to see his baby walk down the wedding aisle in a white dress. I think it was a blow to his system but a balm to his heart.

Even when we told him that if he didn't travel now, he wouldn't make it to Illinois, he refused to give up on life. A beautiful set of people volunteered their time and skills to fly him from Texas to Illinois. He was so intent on living, he walked off the plane and across the small airfield to the car on his own stead. Those watching would never believe his life would be gone just days later.

It's been a year and a half since he left us. I can hardly believe so much time has passed. We still miss him like it was yesterday. Now we are helping his widow to raise his little girl. She now lives in Chicago but his daughter spends much of her time with my family. Next weekend she'll make the 5 hour drive and be spending the summer with us. She'll likely have no memories of her own of her daddy but we'll make sure she knows who he was, how much he loved her, and how he treasured watching her one day dropping petals down the aisle in her little white dress.

I miss you Troy, and I love you.

If I Had Money

My money dreams. If I had money - and I mean BIG money, here's what I would do.

1. Buy a nice big wonderful home complete with furnishings and a maid to clean it.

2. See to my parents needs. Make sure their home is payed for and it's where they want to be. Let them have the option of whether or not they want to keep working. Prep a travel account for them.

3. Set up education funds for my nieces and nephews, as well as my own children.

4. Make a trip to the hospital, select someone's outlandish medical bill, and pay it off. Do this annually. Periodically stop in and pay off some family's ER bills. All anonymously.

5. Replace one of the city's firetrucks and set up a fund to purchase new ones.

6. Pay for the police costs of setting up several citywide drunk driving checkpoints every weekend for a year. Make a donation to local Dare &/or war on drugs.

7. Set up a fund to give a college scholarship in my brother's name. Donate to PanCAN for pancreatic cancer in his name.

8. Take my sister on a cruise/vacation of her choice.

9. Plan an age appropriate annual educational trip for my children and nieces and nephews.

10. Take a trip to Japan and Scotland.

11. Donations to Asthma and Obesity research.

12. Fund the creation of a beautiful walking park in my city.

13. Donate my current home to the Red Cross for use by families who's homes have caught fire until their permanent housing is arranged.

14. Take a US trip with husband and kids to points of interest in the US. Probably revisit the badlands, see crazy horse (wasn't completed the last time I was out there), Yellowstone, Colonial Williamsburg. These have been my favorite traveled to places. Would also like to see the Grand Canyon, and coastal Maine. Probably just do the NY and DC trips during the kids' educational trips.

15. Buy a new van. (I'm not really in to cars)

16. Trip to Australia with all of my side of the family.

17. Disney World with hubby's side of the family.

18. Kids and hubby and I swim with the dolphins.

19. Ask the NURSES on ICU what equipment they need and buy it.

20. Donate out the rear to the local Christmas campaigns.

21. Get faster internet connection!!!!

Yep, that mainly does it. My money wish list. Pretty much in that order. I suppose it would be better if I saw to my parent's needs before my house but I'm thinking that would just happen simultaneously. My biggest desires are to have a nice, big house and to be able to pay off people's debts. I like the hospital debts in particular because they tend to be an expense you just can't do anything about. If you gotta have your appendix out, you gotta have it out. It has nothing to do with your money management, your good or bad personality, etc. And wouldn't it be so nice to have such a stress just unexpectedly taken away? To think you have this chunka medical bill and all of a sudden outta the blue you get a notice in the mail telling you it's been paid in full?

There is a bit of a hole in my list where my sister and my husband's sister are concerned. They don't have tons of personal benefit from my moneydom. And probably I would do more, likely debt payments and the like. The thing is, my sister's husband cheated on her and their relationship is still kinda rocky. I certainly don't want to give money and have him end up with half. My husband's sister, well, they drink a lot, party a lot, and party some more at the expense of their bills and their children. One, they couldn't manage any monetary gift, and two, I don't really embrace the idea of contributing to their lifestyle. So for all of them I think I would focus on their children and then do trips and the like with them. So whaddya think? What are your money dreams?

Sad? I Hate Sad!

Doggone those sad endings. They torment me! It's just a movie for heavens sakes! Tell that to my soul though. Blast. I'll be up all night hurting for people who don't exist and applying the morals of the story to my life. Drat. Doggone bleeding heart sad movies grumble grumble grumble....

I Went, I Saw, I Applauded

I did it. I went and saw the 3rd episode of Star Wars. My hat is off to Mr. Lucas for his best one yet. I watched the first 2 over the other day so was prepared to see the 3rd. It far exceeded the first two. The first one I felt was merely a set up for the second two. An anchor. Very little interesting plot of its own though I liked Obie's (spelling I know) master. That's Ok though, it did it's job.

**Note, spoilers galore here, though I'm probably the last to see these**

The second was better. I was confused though because half way through I figured out who the emporer was but he wasn't shown as a bad guy yet. I thought, well, maybe they used him as a double for interest or something. Of course, all came to light in the 3rd. It was so difficult though because they made Anakin so likeable; it was painful to see him turn. Which of course was the genius in it.

I'm still left a bit sad though at Anakin's turning. And I'll miss the characters in their youthfulness. They really put in a lot of plot twisting, double meanings, and illusions. I thought the 3rd very well thought out. Now I'm ready to rewatch the remaining 3.

Head Hanging

Ok, so I'm feeling a little ashamed concerning my previous post. I hate sounding so shallow. I am just disappointed because it's just not the same once money got involved.

Can't Beat The Rich

Ok. Minor gripe here. Why do people with money have to step on the toes of regular people. I mean, if you don't have lots of money, you can't compete when people with money step into your arena. If you got money, buy a yacht. Or a summer cottage. Or better yet, support a charity. Why do you have to show up the middle class? Uhg. That burns me.

We have a family in town that is great at doing just that. They have tons of money and can do whatever they want. But they just have to do what the middle class do only with lots of money.

Ok, here's an example. Several families host college players to give them a home during summer baseball. Most families host 1 or 2 players. The "money people", they host 5. So there are families who don't host because there is no need with the one family taking 5. Their kids won't get to have a baseball "hero" spend the summer with them. The money family does not have young kids. Ok, doesn't directly effect me but is still upsetting. Also, many of the host families have made scrapbooks for their players. For those of you who don't scrapbook, doing one is pretty expensive and very time consuming. For those of us who make these for our players, it makes this a pretty special gift. Well, the last two years, Mrs. Money made scrapbooks for all 5 of her players and then went on to make them for EVERY OTHER player too! So for those of us who thought we were giving something special to our player, it ended up being not so special since she made one up (no expense spared) for our players too. She passes out $100 bills to her players for whatever reason she can contrive too. I can just imaging all the other players cursing their bad luck for being place with a regular family instead of Mrs. Moneybucks.

Last year they had a silent auction for the player's jerseys. The one kid who'd stayed with us for two years had become like family. He didn't even know Mrs. Money and Mrs. Money didn't know him. But she knew he had turned down the draft that year and would be drafted in the coming year so wouldn't ya know, she just had to bet against us for his jersey. Now I know a jersey isn't the end of the world but my whole family had really come to love this kid and it was his last year of eligibility for summer ball even if he weren't moving on to the bigs. We ended up in a bidding war against Mrs. Money for his jersey. Everyone around us was just livid that she would bid against a host family for their own players jersey. We ended up slipping in just before the time limit to win the jersey but it cost us. We used our anniversary money to pay for it. Mrs. Money woudn't've had to give up a thing for it. The kid was really upset that Mrs. Money had done that, not knowing him and just doing it for the prestige of having it when he drafts. He said "Don't worry, I won't forget where I came from". He keeps in touch and calls on holidays and has promised to call the day he gets drafted to tell us where he's going.

I don't know. It just used to be a congenial and familyish atmosphere. But she's cast a shadow on the whole thing. Host families used to get together for BBQ's and swim parties. We all did different things for and with our players but it wasn't competitive or anything. Now though, nothing we do can compare with what she can do. Who wants to do anything just to have her come behind you and do it bigger and better? Mrs. Money seems to have tainted the whole thing throwing her bucks and weight around. I don't begrudge her hosting, but she just has to go and change the whole feel of everything. Instead of being about family, kindness, comraderie and fun, she's made it about money. And we just can't beat the rich at that.

Musical Baton

AfricaBleu passed the musical baton on to me. Here are the questions and my answers:

1. Total volumn of music files on my computer.

Hehe, that would be a big fat 0. I know, I know, I can hear the computers gasping about me while my own PC hangs its head(?) in shame. I have never downloaded a song ever. Sloooow dial up connection plays some responsibility for that.

2. The last CD I bought was:

Hmmm. It's been a while. Most likely it was a soundtrack from a Disney cartoon. I love Disney music. I don't know what I will do when my kids outgrow Disney cartoons and I can no longer use them as an excuse. In the meantime, my van is usually rockin to songs from Tarzan or The Lion King. I'd love to get my hands on the soundtrack for Mulan. Yep, I'm hip.

3. Song playing right now:

Nothing actually. Sorry, I'm boring.

4. Five songs I listen to a lot or that mean a lot to me.

Well, I love Bruce Carroll and two of his songs "Elm Street" and "Who will be Jesus" really move me. They really effect my spirit.

The Judds Greatest Hits. A whole tape is probably cheating but its not any particular song from this tape/CD but the thing as a whole that takes me back to my horse days. Ahh, great times.

"I Cross My Heart" and "I Swear" by George Strait and John Micheal Montgomery respectively. These were "our" songs. One was sung at our wedding and the other is what we danced to for our first dance.

Three people I am passing the baton on to:
Bacon on the Run
Quid Novi
and anyone who wants to do this

Attn. Star Wars Advisors

Ok. I've decided it's time to see what all the hype is about Star Wars. So. In what order does one go about watching these? I don't even know the names of the ones that are new. And the one prior to the one that just came out in theatres, is it out on DVD? I want to watch the ones leading up to the one in theatres and then I'll go watch this new one. After that I guess it's the regular trilogy? Any information is appreciated.

Oy

Phew. What a weekend. This weekend was my daughter's dance recital. Talk about work. She had full dress rehersal Saturday morning. Early Saturday morning. Her changing room was a mile from the stage and she had 3 costume changes complete with 3 hair changes. I was beat. Then my sister wanted me to drive to her town and help her with her daughter's scrapbook. She's trying to get it done in time for graduation which is the 5th. We worked on that until 3:30 in the morning.

Folks got home from their Alaska vacation and wanted to show their pictures Sunday morning so went over there from my sisters, where I'd stayed the night. I had trouble staying awake, not that I wasn't interested in their pics, I was just wiped out. Then left to make the drive home with my daughter in time for her recital. Again the costume changes and the hair and the makeup.

But, she was cute doing her dances. She's in tap, ballet, and acrobats. At 4 years old the girls are so cute up there. And cute she had better be since 3 costumes cost 100 bucks. Ridiculous. My sister and niece drove over for the recital. Mom and Dad were too tired from their vacation to make the trip. I was bummed about that but I understand.

Now it's Monday and I feel like I could sleep straight thru to Tuesday without any problem at all. Instead, I guess I better settle on something to feed the family.

Just Plain Embarrassin

Kids say the darndest things. And they say them out loud, to strangers.

My son, he's the master of this.

When he was 3 I was teaching him to chew with his mouth closed. We went to KFC for lunch with the baseball player we were hosting at the time. While we were eating, I told him to chew with his mouth closed. He looked 2 tables down to a large man eating hardily. You may be able to guess what happened next. It wasn't subtle. He sits up straight, points with a fully extended arm and says loudly "But he's not chewing with his mouth closed mommy!". I wanted to slide under the table.

Another situation occured at one of my husbands softball games. I alluded to this in a previous post but without the story behind it. As we were sitting there a couple walked up to the bleachers; the man was in a wheelchair. Again, the full arm extension with a pointing finger, my son says loudly "Why's he in that big stroller mommy?". Thankfully the man was very kind and befriended my son and talked about his "big stroller".

He's also pointed out the man missing the lower half of one arm. The boy misses nothing. As he's grown older, I've had discussions with him about pointing out his obsevances about other people. The difficulty was, I wanted him to accept differences about other people more casually. I didn't want him pointing them out loudly, but I didn't want him whispering his questions in front of them either. Having people whispering about you would make anyone uncomfortable. I found it is difficult to teach a child under 6 finesse.

The last incident was not too long ago. He and I were sitting by a woman when he turned to her and said "Is your leg real?". Appearantly he'd looked over and noticed that her leg looked different. Since he can't point out loudly and he can't whisper about it, he must have logically deduced that the next best option available to him was to just ask the person about it. And yes, the woman had a prosthetic leg. Fortunately she too was very good about it and showed him all about her prosthetic leg. Thank God for understanding people.

So if you ever happen to see me out, no need to warn me about the deep hole beside me. I keep it handy to swallow me up the next time my son see's something that sparks his curiosity.

Questions

I stole this from Daniel

1. First name: Sonna

2. Were you named after anyone? Yes. Someone my mom knew had named her daughter Sonna.

3. Do you wish on stars? On rare occasion. Mostly I reflect on stars.

4. When did you last cry? Yesterday.

5. What is your favorite lunch meat? Turkey

6. Cats or Dogs? Hmm, both. I really like dogs but cats don't leave mounds of poop in your yard that has to be scooped up.

7. What is your birth date? April 14th

8. Do you cry at commercials? Yes. Sometimes I really get in to commercials. Some make me laugh, some make me cry, and some I like better than the show I am watching.

9. Would YOU be friends with you? Absolutely! I'm the best person I know! :<)

10. Are you a daredevil? No, not by usual standards. I do weird stuff like put fake colored hair in with my regular hair, wear fake noserings and stuff like that. Nothing that raises the pulse rate.

11. Favorite Singer? Patsy Cline. Kinda weird cause she's not of my era but I love her voice and her songs.

12. Do looks matter? Since I stole this list from Daniel, I'm stealing his answer to this question too: Only to people who care about looks.

13. How do you release anger? I need to be alone. I don't "do" anything really. Just need to be by myself and either pout or fume. Then I find something to distract myself.

14. Do you hold a grudge? No. Rarely to things even stick with me like that.

15. Do you trust others easily? Generally yes. In fact, mostly yes. Unless I get some kind of an impression of dishonesty or something, I pretty much trust people.

16. What was your favorite toy as a child? I had this camper toy that goes along with those people that dont have arms or legs - not weebles but the other people with no arms and legs.

17. What high school class do you think was totally useless? PE. It was a joke.

18. Do you have a journal? Yes. I have several

19. Do you use sarcasm a lot? Sarcasm is my best friend and rarely leaves my side.

20. What are your nicknames? Mom

21. Would you bungee jump? Not on your life

22. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? Nope

23. Do you think that you are strong? I used to be very strong. I had the highest bench press for a female in my college class. Now though I am much, much weaker thanks to surgeries and disabilities.

24. What is your favorite ice cream flavor? Bunny Tracks

25. Shoe size? 9

26. Red or pink? Umm, red I guess.

27. Least favorite thing about yourself? Appearance

28. Night owl or morning person? Night Owl without a doubt. My parents and sister don't understand this and think sleeping in the morning means you're lazy.

29. What color pants and shoes are you wearing? Blue and barefoot

30. What are you listening to right now? The fan blowing next to me, a bird chirping outside, and my fingers punching the keys.

31. Last thing you ate? English toffee bar

32. If you were a color, what would you be? Yellow I think

33. What is the weather like right now? Warm humid and overcast

34. Last person you talked to on the phone? My sister

35. First thing you notice about the opposite sex? You mean that interests me? If they are nice or friendly. What?! It's true!

36. Do you like the person you got this from? I like reading his blogs.

37. What's your favorite refreshment? Pepsi. Favorite alcoholic beverage: Kahlua N Cream

38. Hair color? Brown with blonde highlights

39. Eye color? Brown

40. Do you wear contacts? Sometimes

41. Favorite food? Mexican, American (or found in America), Italian, Japanese

42. Last movie you watched? Hook (I have kids ya know)

43. Favorite day of the year? I'm gonna go with Christmas for a thousand Alex

44. Scary movies or Happy Endings? Ya mean scarry movies? hehe. Happy endings for me

45. Summer or Winter? Summer

46. Hugs OR Kisses? Hugs

47. What's your favorite dessert? My mom 's lemon cheesecake

48. Living arrangements? house with hubby and kids

49. What books are you reading? Some christian fiction novels

50. What's on your mouse pad? My mouse

51. What did you watch on TV last night? Didn't watch TV last night

52. Favorite smells? Someone grilling, food that's prepared so I don't have to do it, cologne on my man

53. Favorite sounds? Crack of a baseball off a bat, kids saying "Mom, I love you", silence

54. Mimes or clowns? Mimes. I don't know why they get such a bum rap, I love 'em.

55. Do you drink coffee? If so, how do you take it? Yes. From Starbucks.

56. Rolling Stones or Beatles? Neither

57. Do you believe in Evolution or Creation? Creation. Though I am open to the idea that God created evolution.

58. What's the furthest you've been from home? Florida, Texas, Wyoming, Maryland. Whichever is furthest. Would love to go overseas.

59. If you could go further, where would it be? I'd love to go to Japan, Scotland, Australia

60. Are you where you want to be? When I was little I wrote that when I grew up I wanted to be a wife and a mom. Now I'm there but my body won't let me fulfill those roles the way I'd like to.

Questions in blue are the ones I added. Feel free to steal this list and add some of your own.

I Am A Christian

I have to be in the right mood for poetry but I really liked this one. I found it on another blogsite. (Thanks for sharing it in your blog).

I'M A CHRISTIAN

By Maya Angelou

When I say... "I am a Christian"

I'm not shouting "I'm clean livin."

I'm whispering "I was lost,"

Now I'm found and forgiven.

When I say..."I am a Christian"

I don't speak of this with pride.

I'm confessing that I stumble

and need CHRIST to be my guide.

When I say... "I am a Christian"

I'm not trying to be strong.

I'm professing that I'm weak

and need HIS strength to carry on.

When I say... "I am a Christian"

I'm not bragging of success.

I'm admitting I have failed

and need God to clean my mess.

When I say... "I am a Christian"

I'm not claiming to be perfect,

My flaws are far too visible

but, God believes I am worth it.

When I say... "I am a Christian"

I still feel the sting of pain,

I have my share of heartaches

So I call upon His name.

By the way, did anyone notice my "scarry" type 0 in my last post? I didn't notice it until today. I was going to edit it and change it but I thought it was kinda funny so I think I'll leave it. It gave me a good laugh at myself.

A Scarry Event Today

My son walked in the door today after school. He walks 2 blocks over then cuts through the yard to get to our house from the bus drop off. He comes in and tells me someone kept calling to him from their garage saying "Hey! I can't breathe, I'm going to die!". The person was standing, hanging out the side of the garage saying this over and over to my son, trying to get him to come over. My son (G) ignored him and came straight home to tell me. First off I thought that someone who truly couldn't breath wouldn't be standing half in the garage and certainly couldn't be yelling repeatedly to my son and never once yelling help. So I decided I wanted to check this out. I put the kids in the van and took off up the street to the end of the block. Across the street a teenager was walking through some trees to a house where another boy was playing basketball. I noted it and went on to the house G was pointing out. The garage door was down and it looked like no one was home.

I stopped at a neighbors who is also a friend of mine to see if she knew anything about who lived there. By the way, across the street from this house is where the family of a convicted sex offender lives and where he had lived for a while. The neighbor wasn't home though and at that time my sister called my cell phone. I told her what happened and she immediately advised me to call the police. She was thinking that he hadn't lured G over but may have lured another child and then shut the garage door. Either way, the police should be notified. So I called the police and explained exactly what had happened. They said they would send an officer to the house and then to my house for a statement.

As I was waiting at home, the paramedics called to ask again about the house and make sure we had the right one. Then they said something about waiting for the police and that they would get back to me. Apparently no one was answering the door and they were going to break into the garage after the police arrived.

Soon they called me back and asked if we could come over to the scene which we did. A state policeman spoke to G as did the paramedics. At this time the garage door was open and a boy was sitting in the yard. The officer had G look at him and asked if it was that boy. My son said it wasn't. The officer then said he would bring out another boy who was in the house and G said something about the guy had on a white shirt. Mr. Policeman nodded and said that the kid in the house had just changed his clothes and put on a yellow shirt. (I thought that sounded pretty suspicious).

Anyway, the officer must have made the kid change into a white shirt then brought him out. My son said that that was him. I asked him if he was sure and he said he wasn't positive cause he thought the guy was taller but he thought it looked like him.

The kid protested that it couldn't have been him cause he wasn't even home and he'd been at a friends playing basketball. I thought, Ah hah, and told the officer about seeing a kid in a white shirt walking over to where another kid was playing ball after G had come and told me what happened.

The cop asked if I wanted to press charges for Disturbing the Peace. I really didn't necessarily want to do that. I told him I mainly wanted the parents to know about it and for the kid to realize the severity of trying to lure a child. The important thing was to see that no one had been injured or molested in any way and that hopefully this scared the kid enough that he would never do something like this again. I hope that this kid was just a regular kid who pulled a stupid prank. I certainly understand that kids do that. But when I wonder what would he have done if G HAD gone over there and it gives me chills.

Thank God my kids and I have regularly discussed that there are bad people who would try and trick kids like that. We've gone over different scenarios, different things bad guys might say, and different things my kids can do if that would ever happen. Mind you, my kids are 6 and 4 years old so I was a little afraid I was maybe frightening them unnecessarily. Now I'm excessively glad I did. People go after kids that young for a reason. But my son was prepared and did everything exactly as he should.

The possibilities today could range from nothing to something horrific. I wish the officer would have come back and spoken to me again after he had talked with the parents. I'd really like to know their reaction. You never know. Some people just jump to defending their kids without considering that their kid may have done something. I'd just feel better knowing they gave their kid what for. If they tried to minimize it or even deny it, the kid wouldn't get the full impact of the lesson. And THAT would be a crime.

Quiz your heart

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.

In love, you feel the most alive when your partner is patient and never willing to give up on you.

You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic.

Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage something you've always wanted... though you haven't really thought about it.

In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

Another fun link from Bacon on the Run . Don't know how they came about the results using the questions they did but I thought the results were actually kinda believable for me.

A Successful Surprise

Today was a busy busy busy but excellent day. My best friend's birthday is this month but she has to work on her birthday so I planned a surprise for her today. About 6 weeks ago I began contacting her friends and family and asked them to send me birthday cards for her. I used each card to send her on a "card hunt". Her boyfriend went to her house and gave her the card from him which had a clue in it I had sent to him that, once she solved it, would direct her to the location of her next card. Eventually the cards led her to her final destination, a restaraunt where her friends and family had gotten together to surprise her. I tried to line up each card location so that the card location had some relationship to the card sender. She said she had a lot of fun on the hunt and we had a really nice dinner with friends we had not seen for a while. She got a special card from an old, dear friend whom we had lost touch with for several years. I'd gotten back in touch with this friend and she wanted to send a card and did so from the hospital after she'd just had a baby. We had a balloon bouquet, party favors and noise makers, and a light-up tiarra for the birthday girl. It was a great great time and I was so glad to do something special for my very good friend. Making her feel special was the best gift I could think of and I'm so glad it went off so well. It was a great day.

Questionable Post

Ok, I'm going to be posting about a topic that may be questionable in polite society so if you are polite society, you may want to stop here.

Piqued your interest? That's Ok. If you are polite society or at least want to maintain that impression, just don't leave a comment, no one will know you were here. :<)

Actually it's not that that bad. It is inspired by one of my favorite bloggers who also wrote about it and gave a great link that I wanted to share. So what's the topic? Well, come closer....a little closer....it's toots. That's right. I'm talking in cyberspace about farts. And if you want me to say it louder well, too bad. I have an image to protect too ya know.

Mostly I just wanted to share the link. I was laughing so hard my sides were hurting. But then, as I commented on Lisa's site, I come from something of a deranged family. My father started it all when he would.....you know......and then blame it on the dog. This might not be so terribly odd except that when the dog died, my dad continued to do it.

It's my sister who finds the most humor in flatulance (can be said in normal voice cause it's a big and impressive word). That, however, could be due to the fact that she has a son who has a rather, mmm, uncommon talent in that regard. I'll try not to be crass, but he can do it loud or silent, long or short, wet or dry, continuously and at will. The only thing he can not do is not do it. And my sister? She laughs every time. I don't know what it is, but to her, apparently it is funny.

Now don't get me wrong, I will often laugh as well, but I tend to find it more humourous when there is some other wit applied as well. Such as when dad blames it on the dead dog or when it is set up and staged just right, or, well, anytime I do it.

But if you ever laugh about it, even in private, you might want to check out this link and see if it appeals to any of your.....less refined tastes.

School Bus Accident!

They've just reported over the news about a School bus accident that happened this afternoon in a neighboring town. I happened to be talking to a friend on the phone at 2:00 when she got another call that the hospital where she works had called a Condition Yellow (an alert that indicates a disaster and multiple casualties coming in). All she knew was that it involved a train.

I'd thought that it wouldn't be a school bus since kids don't get out of school at that time. I'd forgotten about field trips. Appearantly the bus crossed the tracks but didn't clear the back end and couldn't move forward because of cars in front of the bus. Fortunately, though the train smashed the back end of the bus, none of the kids on board were seriously injured. Only one was hospitalized though all of the students were seen in the ER.

What a horrible, horrible event. My initial reaction when I found out it was a school bus with children on board was absolute dread. When I heard no one was seriously injured I was initially extremely grateful, but I did have some moments of anger towards the bus driver. That she could have crossed the tracks with the warning system going and leave part of the bus on the tracks..... I don't know. Maybe something happened that was beyond her control that we don't know about. Here though, I think laws require school buses to to pause or stop at tracks, open the door to listen, and for drivers to look both ways for train activity despite the presence of warning signals.

Tonight though, I am heading to the store to buy cards for my kids' bus drivers to thank them for transporting my kids safely to and from school each day.

Foreign Tongue

Without a doubt, I love languages. I speak bits and pieces of a few but am fluent in none. Oh how I wish I were. Course, I have no one to speak them too which is why I've forgotten so much of what I knew. It's been 10 years since college which is where I mainly spoke other languages. As you may have seen in my listing, I was in the International Club in college. And yes, I am American. And yes, I am a goober. I was the only one who hadn't flown over 10 hours to get here. I drove. Less than 2 hours.

But my International friends accepted me. They even wanted to elect me president of the club, which I refused. I'd forgotten that till just now. But I loved being around them. I was, and am, drawn to diversity. I grew up in a small town where everyone was just like me. And I mean everyone. I'd never even met someone from out of state, let alone another country.

It's harder now, being out of college, to be a part of that cultural diversity. The midwest is hardly overrun with people from other countries. When I visited my brother in Texas, there was so much cultural diversity it was overwhelming. Everywhere I went people were speaking a different language. But I learned that each culture mostly kept to itself. I can understand that, but it's disappointing.

What I don't understand is when parents don't pass their native language on to their children. I would love to be bilingual. I would love for my kids to be bilingual. And some languages are slowly dying out. So few American Indians speak their native tongue. That is beyond my comprehension. I wish the government could or would do something to enourage the continuance of Native American languages. Some native dialects are down to a handfull of people and then they will be extinct!

I always wanted to speak Native tongues. I even memorized Indian sentences from movies like Thunderheart and Dances With Wolves. Did I mention I was a goober? Who knows if they were even real Indian words.

Oh my, did I really admit that out loud? Is it any wonder my friends (and even my sister) often pretend they don't know me? My brother (who was more amused by my little quirks) used to laugh about when I'd have too much to drink (aka drunk) and would start speaking in a mix of Spanish and Japanese that no one could understand. Course, he never had to go to the mall with me while I was wearing a fake nose ring or calling out "My name is Dances With Wolves" in Souix. Go figure.

A listing

Things you may or may not have known about me:

1. I graduated with a BSN
2. I was the only American in the International Club in college
3. I love working with people with mental illness
4. Except personality disorders which drive me nuts
5. My favorite singer is Patsy Cline - song, Poor Man's Roses
6. I love learning about other countries, their language and culture
7. So many foreign students came home with me in college that it was not unusual for my parents and I to be the minority in our home.
8. A Japanese exchange student visited during my junior year in high school, decided to stay, and ended up living with us for 4 years.
9. I'm a professional fence straddler
10. I thrive on humor and often use sarcastic humor
11. I used to train horses and ride in the rodeo
12. I once wore a fake nose ring at the mall just for fun and to see other's reactions
13. I often do things for the sole purpose of surprising my best friend whom I love dearly
14. Not until my 30's have I started learning to stand up for myself
15. I'm sometimes known to make a fool of myself and thoroughly enjoyed it


Feel free to comment, list things about yourself, or list things about yourself on your blog site. I love reading other people's lists.

Hosting the Players

Our city is part of the CICL summer baseball league. Basically it's a summer college baseball league comprised of some (but not all) decent ball players from colleges throughout the US. For going on 4 years now we have hosted 1 or 2 players from the league. They stay in our home and we in exchange get free season passes to the games. We've been pretty lucky to get some really great guys. The last two years we had the same two players stay with us. This year, one of the players from the last two years opted to try a new host family - one without children. Hmm. What do you say to that. Actually, I'm Ok with it. Kids in general can be exhausting and I've already posted about one of my kids so you may get the gist of where he's coming from. :<)

Anyway, my kids revere these boys who come to stay with us. They tell anyone who will listen that they keep baseball players in their basement. Unwittingly they make it sound like the girl kept in the well in Silence of The Lambs. I've broken the news that the one player won't be staying with us again after all. They seem to have come to accept this since a new player will take his place. Unfortunately for the player who chose a different home, my kids will still see him at the games and they've made it clear he still belongs to them.

The other player who has stayed with us the last two years is no longer eligible this year as he is a senior in college and played all the seasons allowed. He was drafted by the Cubs last year but turned them down in order to finish out his baseball scholarship at college. He's having a great year though and is sure to be drafted again this year. He's the greatest kid. We weren't able to make it to any of his games this season but we still keep in touch and he contacts us on holidays as though we were family.

All in all hosting players has been a great experience. My family had hosted an exchange student while I was in high school so I was used to the whole "strangers in the house" thing. So we are looking forward to getting two new players in about 3 weeks and the summer of baseball will begin.

Ice Meth that is

As I have posted, my brother died a year and a half ago of pancreatic cancer. It was a very difficult time for all of us. My nephew (my sister's oldest child) had lived with him for a while in Texas before striking out on his own. He loved Texas and decided to remain in the same state as my brother while getting started. After my brother died however, he found himself down there alone (the rest of us live in Illinois). He had problems coping with the death of my brother and got mixed up with Ice, a form of Meth. He was addicted from his first use.

We suspected and feared he was involved in drugs but of course he denied it and there was little we could do. Eventually though it became more and more evident and a friend of his confirmed our fears. We hired an intervention specialist and on Thanksgiving Day, the first one without my brother, we did a drug intervention and flew him to California for treatment. He spent 90 days in rehab there, then wondered a bit in Chicago and Michigan.

My dad had been like a father figure to him and the two were very close. All this was extremely hard on my dad and just burdened him more though perhaps distracted him a bit from his grief. Eventually my nephew asked if he could stay with my parents while getting back on his feet. He's living there now under a lot of AA and NA inspired rules and doing fairly well. The success rate for staying off Meth is very very low but for now he is clean.

It's been hard to imagine that we'd be in this place. Who'd have thought we'd have a drug addict in the family. I'm not one given over much to image and appearances so it probably bothers me least of all. I'm not a very judgemental person and having worked in mental health I've learned to refute social stigmas. It's been harder on my sister's family though but they know the important thing is not what people think but that he is getting clean.

I thought I'd learned enough about AA and NA from working in Psych but now I've got it coming out my ears. Good luck to anyone dealing with drug addiction either themselves or in their families.

They're Off

Well, my parents are off on their dream of a lifetime vacation - an Alaskan cruise. They've had so much stress since my brother died they needed an escape to leave their troubles behind and enjoy themselves. Hopefully they will be able to leave their troubles behind if just for a short time.

My parents have always wanted to be able to leave us kids an inheritance. It's something important to my dad especially. He grew up very poor and his parents died and left them with nothing but bills. He and my mother were the only ones of six children to pay off their portion of the funeral bill. Of course, generally funeral homes don't care who pays what as long as it gets paid. These people however were very generous and refused to take any more money from my parents. They knew they'd likely not see a dime from the other kids but told my parents that as far as they were concerned my parent's bill was paid in full.

Anyway, as I was saying, my folks always wanted to leave an inheritence. For them, this meant that for any money to be left for an inheritance they'd have to do a lot of cautious spending and foregoing some of the finer things. My sister and I (and my brother prior to his death) have always tried to get them to enjoy themselves and not worry about an inheritence. If there was anything left, fine. If not fine. So they've finally decided to take some money and go on this trip. And my sister and I couldn't be happier for them.

I Used To Believe

A cute website I found http://www.iusedtobelieve.com devoted to things people used to believe when they were children. Some really cute stuff on it.

Things I used to believe:

You got pregnant from kissing

If I closed my eyes while hiding no one else could see me

If I stepped on a crack, something bad really would happen to my mother

When pregnant mothers would let me feel the baby moving inside them I thought a healthy dose of Pepto Bismal would fix that right up

In the alphabet, L M N O was one letter

If I said my prayers out loud, the devil could hear all the problems I was praying about and could use them against me. It was far better to say my prayers in my mind


Something my son used to believe is that people in wheelchairs didn't have health problems, they were just riding in giant strollers. My daughter (4 years old) believes she has two butts, one in the back and one in the front. And I'm sure some day she'll thank me for posting that to the community.
I'd love to hear your childhood beliefs.

The Nurses Side of the Bed

So many times I've heard how someone's hospital care was horrible. How they had to wait forever for help to the bathroom, for a pain pill, for a simple glass of water when they were parched. There are of course plenty of nurses out there who could care less about their patients but plenty for getting all their breaks in and then some.

I know. I've worked with them.

I have to say though, that the majority really and truly care about their patients. No really! So if the majority of nurses are great, caring people, why are the complaints so prevelant? Put yourself in a pair of fairly expensive white shoes. Keds. Softspot. Hush Puppies maybe. Stand in a long hallway with say 20 rooms. Fill 8 of them with patients, people who are relying on you to take care of all their needs because they feel so sick they are beginning to think hospital jello sounds like something they might want to eat. Before you can see them all to put a name with a face, you will be receiving a new patient just out of surgery.

An interjection here. People do not die in surgery. They may be wheeled out of the surgical room surrounded by doctors and nurses performing CPR, but they do not die in surgery.

So you never know what situation your surgical patient will be in. It'd be a pretty good idea to check 'em out and make sure they're going to continue to breath for you. Unfortunately, Room 1A has got to pee and pee bad. She's been holding it all through the shift change and she's gotta go. Ok. Full bladder looses out to need to breath. It's bad you know but you've no choice. You can't be in two places at once. 20 minutes max, then you'll get to her. 2B had asked for an extra blanket but he was really nice and seemed fairly content. He'll understand.

But then, wouldn't you know. 15 minutes into settling your surgical patient and 3B, who's been fighting pain all night, pages you for pain medicine. Pain is a 10 on a 0 to 10 scale. Family members are waiting outside your surgical patient's door, distressed at the unbearable pain their mom is suffering. Another 15 minutes. Hold in there 1A. As soon as I can....I promise. 3B gets her pain medicine. You really want to hold her hand, walk her through some relaxation exercises, let her know she's not alone and that you care. But..... Gotta rush to 1A. Poor lady, she's been holding it for an hour. She's not a happy camper. She's sick and moves slow. It takes 20 minutes to help her to the bathroom and get her settled back in bed. Then back to 3B to make sure the pain medicine helped.

By now it's been almost an hour and your surgery patient needs to be seen. Post surgery is a critical time. Hope your white shoes are holding up cause you haven't stopped moving. You HAVE to chart everything that's happened. Documentation is the only thing to protect you in court and you need to let others know what's been going on. But wait a second, you haven't even seen all your patients yet! You were interrupted by the surgery patient.

Synopsis of the day: One patient fills out a patient survey complaining that no one came to help her to the bathroom for AN HOUR. One patient struggles continuously with pain. Half the patients didn't even lay eyes on their nurse for over half the morning. 2B never did get his blanket cause you forgot. And the one patient who did get the best care was just out of surgery and slept through all of it.

This is of course fairly simplified but does dipict the struggles of nurses. Even the ones who really care. And the patients with complaints have reason to complain. But without more nurses to meet the patients needs and without more aids to take on needs that don't require the nurse's specialized education, patients will continue to be put on the nurses list of priority needs. Meanwhile the nurse goes home, burnt out, feet sore, having done her best but knowing her patients suffered under her care that day.

My Poor Boy

Ah, my poor son. Perhaps he does take the slightly more than occasional walk on the naughty side, he is a very loving and extremely sociable child. We host college baseball players who play in a summer league in our town. We try to attend all their home games. At the ballpark as we walk in front of the stadium seats I continually hear people greeting my son. He's 6 years old and knows more people than I do. He greets everyone he sees and believes everyone truly wants to be his friend. In all fairness, he's as loveable as he is naughty. And he's very loveable :<)

It Comes Back to Haunt You

It's totally not fair. You know how your parents said "Just wait till you have kids". That theory that the trouble you give as a child will come back to haunt you, through your children, as a parent. So what is not fair about that? What goes around comes around, right? Well, lemme tell you. In a two parent home, there is exactly that. Two parents. That also means two childhoods. And so what happens when one parent who was a good child, fairly obedient but easily redirected and properly chastised my meer words, weds someone who as a child had frequent head checks - not for lice, but for horns. Two of them. One on each lateral side of the head. Our childhoods? I snuck a snack an hour before supper. My husband locked his sister in the rabbit cage. All day. Outside. In the summer. And you don't want to know what they did with the knives. Now, fast forward a couple of decades. Introduce the happy couple who decide to have children. I was not particularly concerned about the "Just wait till you have kids". In fact, I felt pretty confident. Then I had my son. A beautiful boy. An exact replica of his daddy at that age I was told. Little did I know. The replication extended beyond the borders of appearance, beyond the world of physical similarities. And well into the world of which I had little knowledge. Naughtiness. Not just naughtiness, naughtiness. And what is the "good childhood" parent to do, other of course than frequently remind the other parent that it is entirely their fault? :<) We're doomed to battle the ghosts of the prophesy "Just wait till you have kids". Fortunately, a bit - a little bit - of my childhood lingers about my son. I think he'd be safe with the knives but I still find myself ruffling his hair inconspicuously looking for horns.

Note the Sign

I love those witty signs at churches and businesses. Where do these people get these things? Some of them totally crack me up. I found a few that I'd written down.

1. Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

2. If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing it like your wife told you to do it?

3. The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some sort of mental illness.
Think of your three best friends, if they're okay, then it's you.

4. I dialed a wrong number and got the following recording: "I am not available right now, but I thank you for caring enough to call. I am making some changes in my life. Please leave a message after the beep. If I do not return your call, you are one of the changes."

5. Don't worry about avoiding temptation... As you grow older, it will avoid you.

6. I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!


Oh, there are so many good ones out there. I wish I'd written down my favorites. I'll try and plug them in here as I see them.

Pancreatic Cancer

Well, my first real blog. Thought I'd start it with a real topic. Before I go too far, in case anyone is dealing with or knows someone dealing with Pancreatic Cancer, I highly recommend a non profit organization called PanCAN. They help people and their families who've been diagnosed with this cancer. They provide all sorts of great information and support. They also work to increase awareness, education, and raise funds to promote research. You can find them on the web at www.pancan.org Once I figure out how to do links on here, I'll provide it there. They're awesome though and information on pancreatic cancer is sketchy and hard to find but they've got it all for you. My brother died of Pancreatic Cancer in November 2003. He was 38 and had a then 2 year old daughter and his wife. He was diagnosed and died 11 weeks later. He's the only son and last of the line for the family name. They were just about to start trying for another child. My family and I miss him greatly. He was one of those larger than life people and people were just drawn to him. He started out with flu symptoms, then they thought he might have an ulcer. It was all kinda vague and not terribly distressing. This though is typical of pancreatic cancer. They were just about to start checking out the ulcer idea when he had pain in his leg that sent him to the ER. It turned out to be a blood clot. Since he was young and active they thought this ought to be looked at and called an oncologist (cancer doc). They found cancer in his liver that had caused the blood clot. They knew it had metastisized from another origin and then found it to be from the pancreas. Had the cancer in his liver not caused the blood clot, it would likely have been weeks before the cancer was found and he would have died much sooner from the time he was diagnosed. Treatment for this cancer once it's metastisized is pretty minimal. And it's not often found before then because the symptoms are vague and sometimes not there at all. The life expectancy is 3-5 months from diagnosis. It's hard to believe that this cancer has a 99% mortality rate, is the 4th leading cancer killer and yet is the least funded of all major cancers. It kills with a far greater accuracy than breast cancer or any other cancer but hardly gets any attention. Probably because so few live to tell their story.

One thing I would say to anyone with a loved one who is dying is to make yourself take some time and say goodbye to them. The hospice nurse made all of my family do this. It's very hard to say to someone you know they're dying and you are saying your goodbyes to them. But I'm so glad the hospice nurse made us do this. A couple of days before he died, we all took private time to say goodbye and say the things we needed to say to him. It was incredibly hard but I now know that I said the things to him I wanted to say. I don't have regrets that I wish I'd had the chance to tell him something.

I wanted to start off my blogging experience with my brother's story. I knew I would want to write about it so now it is done and I can take my blogging experience any direction I want to go.

A First Posting

Well, this is my first blog. My friend hooked me up with this website and encouraged me to give it a try and so.... here I am. I haven't quite figured out yet how to search through blogs to find those of interest to me but I'm working on it. Meanwhile, I thought I'd give a general attempt before trying to post about things close to my heart and thoughts and feelings just waiting to spill forth.